Hey beauties!! I found myself in a situation this week that had me thinking of how my anxiety may have me come across as ignorant or unapproachable which are both totally the opposite of me!! Do you ever feel like people may think that of you??
Behind a screen I’m confident, chatty and bubbly even if I don’t know you that well. I’ll make conversations and come off as confdent. But I may see the same person in person a few days later, just passing in the street or at the same venue, and I freeze. It’s like a wave of emotion comes over me making me speechless and awkward. If I do happen to catch someones eye contact as I’m awkwardly looking back and fore to see if they spot me, I’m able to crack a smile.
I want so badly to say hello and maybe even have a conversation, but the anxiety criples me with the fear of rejection or saying the wrong thing. See my post on The Physical Symptoms Of Mental Health where I go more in depth on how anxiety really makes me feel. The strange thing is, if someone approaches me first and starts talking then I’m absolutly fine. But that initial paranoia and fear prevents me from talking to so many people. Some even people I’ve known for years!!
I don’t remember when this all started, but I wish it hadn’t. I sometimes feel I’d have a big circle of friends that I’d socialise with if I just had it in me to speak to them face to face to build that relationship. But sadly my anxiety doesnt allow that and coming across as ignorant, fake, faulse is heartbreaking. Maybe someday I’ll get control of all of this, but until then, if you see me, please say hi!!
So next time you find yourself face to face with someone who appears chatty online but then ‘ignores’ you in the street, please take a step back and consider talking to them first as they may really want to but can’t. And for those of you struggling with the same issues as me, don’t put yourself down, you CAN’T help it.
Do you suffer with this type of anxiety?? Do you have problems talking to people?? Let me know in the comments.
Much Love – Mrs Slee-Jones xx