Hey beauties!! I found myself in a situation this week that had me thinking of how my anxiety may have me come across as ignorant or unapproachable which are both totally the opposite of me!! Do you ever feel like people may think that of you??
Behind a screen I’m confident, chatty and bubbly even if I don’t know you that well. I’ll make conversations and come off as confdent. But I may see the same person in person a few days later, just passing in the street or at the same venue, and I freeze. It’s like a wave of emotion comes over me making me speechless and awkward. If I do happen to catch someones eye contact as I’m awkwardly looking back and fore to see if they spot me, I’m able to crack a smile.
I want so badly to say hello and maybe even have a conversation, but the anxiety criples me with the fear of rejection or saying the wrong thing. See my post on The Physical Symptoms Of Mental Health where I go more in depth on how anxiety really makes me feel. The strange thing is, if someone approaches me first and starts talking then I’m absolutly fine. But that initial paranoia and fear prevents me from talking to so many people. Some even people I’ve known for years!!
I don’t remember when this all started, but I wish it hadn’t. I sometimes feel I’d have a big circle of friends that I’d socialise with if I just had it in me to speak to them face to face to build that relationship. But sadly my anxiety doesnt allow that and coming across as ignorant, fake, faulse is heartbreaking. Maybe someday I’ll get control of all of this, but until then, if you see me, please say hi!!
So next time you find yourself face to face with someone who appears chatty online but then ‘ignores’ you in the street, please take a step back and consider talking to them first as they may really want to but can’t. And for those of you struggling with the same issues as me, don’t put yourself down, you CAN’T help it.
Do you suffer with this type of anxiety?? Do you have problems talking to people?? Let me know in the comments.
Much Love – Mrs Slee-Jones xx
I try my best to consider this is when meeting new people as one of my best friends struggles badly with anxiety! Thanks for sharing x
Nooroblem, I think alot of people don’t realise how it can effect everyone x
I have had Anxiety my whole life, although I didn’t have a name for it until I was in my late teens. It took me a while to get a handle on my anxiety, and it will always be something I will have to cope with, but I consider myself high-functioning now. I actually wrote a blog post about coping with anxiety. I still get awkward and I constantly second guess myself. The struggle is real!! I think you’re doing a great job, keep doing you 🙂
The struggle is definitely real hun!! Glad you’re doing better now, it’s alot to go through x
I really relate to this. Though sometimes I hope someone will come up to me and start talking first to put me at ease, there are some days that I hope people DON’T start talking to me haha.
I appreciate you sharing your story so others like myself don’t feel alone in this!
Haha I totally get you!! It’s nice to be left alone on times lol.
I’m so glad I can help you not feel alone x
This makes so much sense. I see it with students. When they email or write their voice is so strong and confident, but in class, they flounder if they speak at all. Eye opening post about how anxiety can dim a person’s true character.
That’s exactly it, They’re lucky to have you understanding!!
Thank you for this post! As someone who doesn’t know a whole lot about anxiety, I found it very helpful.
Noproblem at all, I’m glad I could help enlighten you 😀
I totally get where you are coming from. It is totally paralyzing and others misconceive our motives. We come off as arrogant or too good to socialize when we are just simply frozen with anxiety. I’m sorry you have to go through this but it is good to know I’m not the only one. Thank you for shedding light on this.
Oh I hate the ‘You think you’re too good’ comment!! I’m sorry you have to go through it also, it’s not nice x
Thanks for your honesty. My therapist has really pushed me to do things outside my comfort zone. Slowly I’m getting there
Im glad you’re getting there.. baby steps hun it all takes time.
You are awesome
Haha thanks but I’m sure im pretty normal!!
Thank you so much for being so brave to tell this and share this. So many live this and this post will help so many understand.
Noproblem!! I hope it can help others x
I can definitely relate. I used to wait in my car to avoid someone I know. I like how you suggest going up to the person and saying “hi”. That can make a difference. Good advice.
Awah that’s awful, it really is a tough one!!!
omg YES! Last year at pride someone came up to me and yelled “omg you’re the loud mouth brown girl”, referencing my website, and I didn’t know they followed me on Twitter, it was cool but it also made me incredibly nervous too because that had never happened before so I had absolutely zero idea how to respond. So Yes to this post.
Ohh hard situation hun, amazing they recognised you but I feel the pain of the anxiety taking over!!
Sometimes when you’re not at work or online you just don’t want to be chatty… or deal with people. That’s why I end up taking my earphones to most places even if they are off I don’t have to chat to people I meet when I’m not in the mood if I have those.
I understand, sometimes it’s best to be left alone with your own thoughts. I hope you’re ok!!