Just a short blog to anyone who hasnt been feeling themselves latley. Mental illness is real and sometimes we just need to know we arnt alone in this strange world we live in.
Dear Other Me,
You havent been feeling yourself latley. You have been crying, getting frustrated, bullying yourself and thinking the worst of everything.
The nightmares are back worse than ever. Waking up shaking, terrified at what youve just seen in your strange little mind could all be real, or that the past could be re-peating itself all over again.
Your heart is pounding, cutting at your ribs trying to get out and escape its small cage. Sometimes I even think its going to come out of your throat. Or is that the sick thats building up from feeling so tense all the time?
Arms and legs shaking, akeing from holding yourself in a ball. Fighting back the urge to make one more cut, scratch, pull of hair. Why does hurting yourself seem to be the only thing that makes you feel better? Its just another reminder of how crap things can be at times.
You dont want to go out anymore, you have no trust for anyone from being so hurt so its better to stay away from new friendships. They dont understand!! Feeling lonley is normal now. You have some amazing people around you but you cant help but still feel empty inside and that just makes you feel even more shit. How could you be so ungreatfull?! The hate is a never ending circle.
The headackes are worse from thinking everything over and over and over in your head. Why is this happening? When will it stop? How can I change this?
We are only human and at times living with a mental illness, the ‘other me’ often comes out to tourment us. But we mustn’t forget the real us either. We have been through some shit in life to get where we are today. And whether we suffer from, depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, split personality, or any other form of mental illness, we still deserve to love ourselves!! We cant give up on ourselves. We need to fight every single day to remember who we really are and not let the ‘other me’ take over. Its a constant struggle/battle every single day to get up out of bed and face the world. But if we do it, thats a start. Dont give up on your dreams, make them your reality!! And dont take any shit from anyone!! Just remember how truly fucking awesome you are!!
We got this!!
Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, If one only remembers to turn on the light.Albus Dumbledore