I’m so excited for the start of my new series ‘Cuppa & Chat’ where I’ll be featuring a guest blogger on my site hopfully building it upto a weekly event!! We’re kicking off my first ever guest post with the beautiful Natasha from the blog Thoughts With N. Topic this week – Managing Daily Life As A Mother With Chronic Health. So grab youself a cuppa and maybe a cheeky biscuit or cake and let’s chat!!
A Little About N
HEY! I`m N, a 29 year old blogger who lives in a small town with 3 kids and husband. I love writing, running, yoga, writing, reading and writing. I enjoy coffee in large amounts and pizza. 🙂
I live with generalised anxiety disorder and bipolar 2 disorder. I also have 3 children (age 8, 6 and 2 and a half.) I tell you this because now I`m going to tell you about how sometimes these two things clash, and what my routine is to set myself up for the best possible day.
Treat everyday like a brand new day.
Yes, I know it is a new day, but treat it like it`s a BRAND NEW day. Not just another new day. It`s a new day to get to do whatever you want to do! It`s a new day where obstacles can become opportunities and risks can become chances. Once I changed my mindset from, `it`s the same day as yesterday` , to `today is a brand-new day and I can take on the day` my days began to change a little. Now, don`t get me wrong, this is definitely not a cure. But, I found that working on my mindset was a key point in taking charge of my mental health. I`m pretty bad for holding grudges and resenting things, so to let it go, and start fresh, it`s almost like I`m letting my anxiety have a break. It doesn`t need to stress me, because it`s a brand-new day.
Now, sometimes of course I am faced with things that do have to be carried over to the next day. Life does hand us challenges. I try to bring my anxieties back to being in that specific moment. Focusing on being mindful and present.
Find a routine that works well for you.
Just because someone else exercises in the morning, doesn`t mean that is the best thing for you. This goes for every single thing in life. Experiment and find a routine that works well for you. Having a routine has been so helpful to me, because even when I`m not feeling up to communciating very much, usually my kids already know what is happening and what they should be doing, simply because of our routine. From time to time my routine has to change, like no-school days, or summer break, but I take time for then too to find something that works for me.
Now, this won`t apply for everyone, but for some definitely. I found myself exhausted at the end of the day trying to clean up after everyone. And getting angrier as each day went by. I started giving out chores. This is their house as much as it is mine, and I certainly do not make the messes here. I do not mind cleaning at all, but, they needed to start learning to be more mindful, and that they need to at least make an attempt to clean up after themselves. This took some load off of me. Which I needed.
Listen to your body.
Your body is always saying something. LISTEN. This has been the KEY thing for me. If it`s time to sit down, time to rest, time to have a bath, try your best to meet your needs. Understanding that I mattered too, and that my care and feelings were/are important helped me to understand that it`s not selfish to take care of myself.
Don`t be ashamed of your illness.
For a long time I felt like taking medication was like saying I FAILED, every single day, multiple times a day. I`m sure my children could feel that, or even just see it. It was like I was fighting with my illness. But, my illness is a part of me. My medication helps me live my life. So, I explained it to what I felt was the best of their (my kids) understanding. Once the shame I felt went away, then taking my medication was just a normal thing for me to do. Like drinking coffee.
Try to be patient with others while they learn to understand your illness/condition but, do not allow anyone or anything to make you feel inferior or second-guess yourself. You are allowed to be confident with yourself, your body, and your mind, and while others are allowed to not understand, they are not allowed to bully or belittle you.
Do a few house chores everyday.
Even if it`s really small chores, try to do 1-2 everyday so you don`t become overwhelmed with the amount come the weekend. Sometimes I do a load of laundry each day, then I never have a lot of laundry to do. Sometimes I take my rag and do some light dusting and vacuum. I do it when it feels right for my mind and my body, and if it doesn`t continue to feel right, I stop.
Listening to your body is really KEY so I`m just mentioning it again. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.
Though this can take some time, it is completely worth it. It takes the guessing game out of your week. It can help you with groceries, your budget, and then even just being able to cook/prepare nice meals. I can never think on the spot, so if there is no menu plan, it`s cereal for dinner! Meal planning is very helpful to me.
Get your house organised and to being a space that makes you feel calm energy from it. Your house should be a place where you feel comfortable. Get rid of the clutter. (I can`t stand clutter.) A calm home has a much better influence on your mind.
These are some of the tools I use to manage my life. It has taken me a long time to really understand my illness and then longer to accept it. Upon accepting it, I think that`s when I`ve started to flourish and enjoy life. If you take one thing out of this, please have it be that you deserve kindness from yourself. Give yourself that same kindness you give others. It`s okay to have limitations. It`s okay to have feelings/emotions. Have them. Own them. You got this babe. Keep going.
Love Always, N
WOW what amazing advice from this absolute babe!! I love working with her and hopefully you’ll see her as a guest on here again in the near future!! Dont forget to subscribe to both mine and N’s blog!! Details for Thoughs With N and all her socials will be posted below. What topic’s would you like to read about?? Let me know down in the comments!!
Much Love – Mrs Slee-Jones xx