Hey Beauties!! Welcome back to episode 5 of Cuppa&Chat!! Or if this is your first one then hello, hi, welcome!! This week we have the privilege to feature the amazing wisdom of S.S Blake who is a confidence coach and wow does she have some epic advice here!!! So you know the drill, get your cuppa and some biscuits to dip in, get comfy and let’s read!!
I remember when a woman I went to high school with posted a picture on Facebook of herself in pinup fashion. Her bright red lipstick mirrored an aspect of myself I had wished I had the ability to embrace.
I commented on it, “I wish I could pull off that stunning lipstick like you.” To which she replied, “Anyone can! Just put it on!”
It wasn’t that simple though. Years of bullying, abuse and anxiety made it impossible for me to ‘just put it on’. She obviously didn’t understand but I appreciated her kindness. Her words stuck with me though. I thought about it and thought about it and it turned out, it really was that simple.
What makes her ability to wear the lipstick different from mine? Her willingness to ‘just put it on’. That’s it. We could talk all day about the barriers and the traumas, the mindsets and the insecurities but at the end of the day the only thing that matters is the willingness to do it anyway. The willingness to put on the lipstick and wear it despite the heat in our face, numbness creeping down our limbs and the catch in our breath.
To wear it even if it means we can’t look anyone in the eyes that day and our sentences are cut short as embarrassment steals our voice. This moment of discomfort is temporary. Only a day or two that is but a moment in time, a drop in the bucket of life and will lead the way to lasting growth. Once we realize how people react with us with the lipstick versus without the lipstick, our confidence in wearing it will grow because the truth is, no one cares.
Focus on Yourself
Everyone has insecurities and everyone is too busy worrying about them to notice anything about you. Think about how often you notice flaws in others. Chances are, you don’t really. If you do, you should probably reevaluate how your navigating life and what type of energy you’re putting into it.
Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own story. Our personal stories are unlike anyone else’s and comparing them is like asking a hydrangea why it doesn’t bloom like a rose.
Instead of wishing you were the rose or picking apart things that are “Wrong” with the rose to make yourself feel better about what you’re “stuck with”, recognize that they are both magical and breathtakingly seductive. Each with its own unique powers of enchantment.
There are people on this planet who distaste roses and there are those who worship the hydrangea. Focus your energy on something positive and productive, like learning to know, like and enjoy who you are instead of wishing you were someone else.
Choose to be the Hero
I didn’t get into coaching because I wanted too or because I recognized skills in myself. Initially, I saw problems with society, the world and our interactions as a culture and felt that changes needed to incur. I started doing what I could to spread a better message plainly because I felt “Someone needed to”.
I chose to be the hero of my own story. I was the victim most of my life but one day decided that I didn’t like that story, so I changed it. I wasn’t going to sit around wishing and waiting for someone to come save me from the life I was “Stuck in”. I couldn’t leave my dreams and desires in the hands of a knight that wasn’t coming to my rescue. I waited until my early twenties for the mage to step out of the shadows and introduce me to my true destiny and reveal the secrets of royalty. They never came and I had waited long enough.
I knew it was up to me to create the life I wanted so desperately for myself. One like I read about in books and watched in theaters. A life of power and magic, happiness and peace. So I chose to embark on my own journey of self fulfillment. Just like the stories, there are always people along the path the universe seemingly strategically places to help the hero of the story fulfill their destiny. You just have to know what you want life to look like for yourself and then decide to accept the quest.
Beware of Projecting
When I was in highschool I thought everyone had it out for me. I analyzed every interaction I had with people suspiciously, always keeping my guard up. Everything was personal and I was a very angry and unapproachable person.
I was projecting my fears and insecurities onto other people. Believing that they saw flaws in me that I saw in myself. Believing that all of my insecurities were so loud that they had to be the only thing people noticed about me. Convinced that the only time people could interact with me was to bully me and point out my shortcomings.
None of this was true. No one saw anything but me being unfriendly and standoffish. None of it was personal and most didn’t care at all about whatever flaws I may or may not have. They were too busy worrying about their own problems and had no capacity for mine.
I had wasted the chance I had for great, fun and meaningful interactions and friendships who’s only barrier had been the way I felt about myself and my lack of confidence and security in who I was. This whole time, I could have been enjoying my story but I was too focused on embodying the archetype of the victim.
Choose Your Character
Here’s your crash course on archetypes if you’re new to the concept: an archetype is a set of characteristics that we assign to a category of person to describe and box them. For example, the archetype of the queen would be a set of characteristics such as: strong, respectful, demanding, powerful, knowledgeable, direct, etc. The archetype of the mother would be kind, protective, caring, nurturing, understanding, etc.
Archetypes are fascinating and can be hugely useful when you’re trying to reshape your mindset and how you interact with the world. I like to embody the archetype of the warrior and the queen. It’s like playing pretend in your head as you go about your daily routine. Act as though your chosen archetype would act. Speak as they would speak, move as they would move.
It may feel ridiculous in the beginning but it will get more fun and easier to maintain and fall into. Allow yourself to embrace it fully. No one around you knows you’re playing this game with the world. In time, you’ll become this person that you wish to be. These archetypal characteristics that you wish were your own will, in fact, become your truth because deep down on a spiritual level, they already are your truth.
Everyone’s Just a Person
Congratulations! You’re just a person. A regular person just like everyone else. This is great news because if anyone can do, have or be something, then so can you. With the invention of the internet, everyone with access to it is now on the exact same level playing field of life. The world and all of it’s opportunities are at our fingertips and you’re just as capable of success in your ventures as the next person.
You have the ability to write your own story and mold the main character that is you in any way you wish. First and foremost, you must first believe that it’s possible and that you are capable of everything you desire for yourself.
With these insights, I can’t wait to see who and what you choose to be. For when we all step into our truth and power, the whole world benefits from the ripples of our actions. When we choose to release our best selves from the shadows of the mind, we create a better world for everyone to thrive.
Wow what a post!!! I for one think this is incredible!!! I am going to fully take this info on board are you?? Whats your opinion on this?? Thankyou again Savannah for this outstanding post!! I look forward to working with you in the future!!
See you next week beauties!!
Much Love – Mrs Slee-Jones xx
Don’t forget to show Savannah some love and support on her socials which are listed below!!
Savannah Shea Blake is a Confidence Coach at EarthandWater.co who helps women unleash their inner warrior goddesses through chakras and mindset so that they can conquer the battles of life, feel more supported in their ventures and love who they are.