Body confidence issues, we ALL have them. Whether its feeling, too fat, too thin, bad skin, stretch marks, too tall, too short. Whatever the reason being, its there. I often wonder ‘Isit my fault?’ ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ ‘Why cant I like myself?’ But lets face it, when we’re sitting there every single day looking at facebook adds, instagram, TV, magazines, at all these airbrushed pefect models, theres no wonder we feel abit insecure!! Now im all for being healthy and I get having that extra weight can ’cause problems’. But when you see models who are painfully thin, surely thats just as unhealthy as having abit of extra chub?? Who knows?! Either way, no matter what the answer is, it probably wont change the way we feel about ourselves.
I’ve almost gotten into a routine with my relationship with the mirror now. I dont like it and it doesnt like me!! Atleast by the faces it gives me I’m pretty sure it dislikes what it sees!! (No judging now, we all do it!!) You know, when you walk past and cant help but to take that quick glance and yep, there it is.. giving you that same look of disgust straight back at you. Like damn mirror, cant you just smile back for once and make a girl feel abit better about herself?!
Which brings me to thinking, is looking in the mirror (even though we dont want to) an addiction?? Hear me out ok!! We look in it and we dont like what we see. We get upset, we pick at every little inch of our body at what we want to change (you know if we were rich anyway) and then we notice even more things that just piss us off even more, like when doris and betsy (the local spot comittee) have gained new friends!!! All the while we spend the next hour telling ourselves how we are going to smash the mirror or never look init anymore unless we absolutley have to and then 10 seconds later when we’ve calmed down, we’ve reach the bottom of the stairs aaaaanddd… OH LOOK A MIRROR!! *STEALS ANOTHER QUICK GLANCE* and so the process starts all over again!! Now im pretty confident its some form addiction right?? I can see it now on the news… ‘And tonight with Pierce Morgan, we discuss the latest in the ever growing diagnosis rate of The Mirror Addiction’ (If this is happens you heard it here first!)
And then theres the whole ‘Big women shouldnt wear..’ BLAH BLAH BLAH… I want to know why?! Why isit so bad/wrong for anyone over a particular size to show some skin? Or wear something thats figure hugging? Isit harming you or effecting your life in an way to see someone that isnt a barbie doll show some skin? I think not! Us as humans should have the right to wear what we want when we want. It is OUR lives and therefore should be OUR choices. We need to nomalise that people dont have to look like models to wear particular clothing.
Addmitedly I was one of those, being a plus size woman, that thought it wasnt acceptable to wear certain things. Id often cover up my body, scars, imperfections, in fear of being judged. My weight has gone up and down my whole life and for the longest time I felt that ‘I wasnt good enough’ for anyone. I still have these feelings now!! But slowly i’m teaching myself thats it is ok to not look like someone from a magazine because its NOT REAL!! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION PEOPLE!! If we all looked the same the world would have no diversity. So I started a journey on learning to love myself. I stopped following people/companies on social media that push for weightloss or preached how we are meant to be and that was the first best thing I did. Then I started watching more ‘plus size’ hauls on youtube. This was ultimatley the best choice I could have made as it showed me that its ok to try new styles and not fit with the status quo.
I also took into consideration my 9 year old daughter. Our children look to us for guidence and often copy us in what we say/do. As she grew I noticed she too was often looking in the mirror, and then came the need for constant reassurence on how she looked each day. Seeing the pattern yet?? And this is why I took the plunge last year and wore a crop top out in public. I wanted to show my little girl that, No mammy isnt skinny, Mammy doesnt have a flat perfect tummy, But YES Mammy can wear those tops aswell. I wont lie, the first time I left the house was only to go to my mothers, but the whole time I looked like a paranoid pigeion head turning like the exorcist thinking people were looking at me, stairing, judging. And you know what?? They wernt. I even had compliments on how good I looked!!
Since then I havent looked back. I still (often) get those days where I stand in the mirror looking at myself, wishing I could cut parts of me off, and sew bits smaller or tighter. But then I think of my daughter, how I dont want her to ever feel like this. I think of the way my husband looks at me and makes me feel like a supermodel. And for that split second, I love myself aswell.
In life we are going to have alot of these days. But we have to remember that we are ALL Beautiful in our own unique way. Its hard, tough, gutwrentching. But we all have to start somewhere. So next time your standing in the mirror, make it your personal goal to pick one thing you like about yourself. If you can find one then I promise you can find more. Whether its your eyes or even eye colour. Or the shape of your hairline. There will always be someone out there wishing they had what you have. We CAN’T please everyone but we can try and please ourselves. Be different, be unique, embrasse being ‘The fat girl’ ‘The skinny girl’ ‘The tall girl’ ‘The short girl’ just BE YOU. Be the best version of you that you can. Only you have the power to control how you feel or look at the world. We never know when our time is up, so why waste it worrying about what others think of how we look? As women, men, mothers, daughters, fathers, husbands, wives, let’s work together to bring eachother up isntead of bringing eachother down!!
So if you’re reading this, remember.. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE AMAZING. YES YOU!!